


Within the Wreckage

by Zilentdreamer



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Conversations, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 00:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17033176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zilentdreamer/pseuds/Zilentdreamer
Summary: Varl studied her for a moment and Aloy wasn’t sure what he saw, but he sighed and his shoulders slumped as if carrying a heavy burden.  “You aren’t coming back, are you?”“Not right away,” Aloy said, neatly sidestepping the question he was really asking.





	Within the Wreckage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Serie11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serie11/gifts).



> A huge thanks to lovepeaceohana for agreeing to beta this fic. ^_^

Sweat dripped into Aloy’s eyes. 

She blinked against the sting and tightened her grip on her spear where she’d wedged it against a fallen beam.  The spear was in no danger of breaking, but she was concerned about the beam of rotting wood she was trying to support.

Elina, a guardswoman, pulled a few more chunks of stone aside.  She froze and Aloy sucked in a breath as several of the larger pieces shifted.  Only once they were sure nothing else was going to shift did Elina relax.  “Can you see him, my lady?”

Aloy kept her eyes locked on the small shape outlined beneath the fallen roof with the Focus’ sight.  “Yes, I can see him.  He’s right in front of you, just underneath that slab.” The boy was alive, if unconscious. Probably for the best considering his parents were being held back by several guardsmen.  They’d tried to hel p dig but between their fear and the unstable wreckage, they had been forced to step back.

Aloy glanced at the rest of the guardsmen who were braced around her, all ready to heave the slab up.  “Get ready.”  She nodded at Elina, who nodded and crouched, ready to spring into action. The guardswoman had volunteered to be the one to grab the boy.  If something went wrong there was a chance she would die alongside him, but she’d been willing to take that risk.

Aloy took a steadying breath. “Now!”

Everyone threw their weight onto the ends of their spears or staves and there was a long grind of stone against wood.  Gradually the slab of surviving roof began to tilt up and Aloy grit her teeth as her arms shook with the strain.  “Almost there,” she ground out, hearing the others groan with the effort of forcing the broken roof and supporting pillar up.  

Aloy’s eyes narrowed against the relentless noon sun high overhead and the sweat that continued to drip from her brow into her eyes.  There was a prickling itch as sweat slid down her neck and back beneath the heavy weight of her armor.  The sun was a weightless hammer high above, turning the pale outlines of the child beneath the wreckage into a mere wraith.

“It’s clear, grab him!” one of the guards shouted, voice strained beneath the weight he was supporting.  

Aloy and the others braced themselves, all too aware of what was at stake if even one of them lost their grip. Aloy could only watch as Elina slid beneath the raised roof, balancing speed with caution.  She could just follow Elina’s progress as she ducked down between the shattered walls to where fate and chance had conspired to trap the boy in a clear space.  Every passing second burned, and Aloy strained against the weight that grew heavier with each desperate thump of her pulse in her ears.

Between the bright sunlight and stinging eyes it was a struggle to keep an eye on what was happening.   Aloy knew Elina had reached the boy but why was she taking so long— 

A ragged cheer went up from the onlookers when a battered and unconscious little boy was pushed through the gap they’d created. Seconds later Elina herself rolled out.  Two guards lunged forward, one to grab the boy, and the other to haul Elina back from the wreckage.  “Let go!” the one holding Elina shouted. “We’ve got them.”

The command was unnecessary.  Upon seeing Elina and the boy emerge everyone had given a ragged cheer and immediately begun lowering their burden until the roof settled once more amongst the wreckage.  Amidst the shouts and friendly back-slapping, Aloy yanked her spear free.  It almost sent her staggering off her feet. She caught herself at the last minute on what used to be a wall and seized the moment to rub her eyes with the back of her forearm. Her hands weren’t an option, covered in ash and scraped raw from digging and hauling rubble.

Leaning her weight on the spear, Aloy surveyed the surrounding area.  She’d spent the last few days helping to clean up and dig out survivors on the western ridge, where the machines had broken through and carved a path of destruction.  Most of the buildings had been reduced to rubble.  Many had managed to avoid getting crushed in their homes only to die in the flames. 

“There you are.”  Elina dropped down on rock near Aloy.  Noticing the state of her uniform she tried to brush away the smudges.   

“I haven’t moved,” Aloy pointed out.  It was obvious at a glance that Elina’s uniform was a lost cause, smudged with dust and blood from the boy’s rescue.  She looked to where the frantic parents were clutching their son’s unconscious body, both openly weeping as a local healer looked him over with careful touches.  “Is he going to make it?”

Elina followed her gaze and sighed.  “He was unconscious when I pulled him out.  It’s not a bad sign but it’s not a good one either.  We gave him a chance though.” Dismissing the reunited family she eyed Aloy from head to toe, only to shake her head.  “I think it’s time for a break.”

“I’m fine,” Aloy said.  

It was apparently Elina’s turn to roll her eyes which Aloy felt was a touch unfair.  Unhooking the waterskin from her belt she tossed it at Aloy’s face. It was reflex more than intent that allowed Aloy to catch it before it struck her face.  “You’ve been at this since the sun rose. Try to remember that you were injured during the battle and you won’t be helping anyone if you hurt yourself further.”  Clearly Elina had been working on her martyred tone. 

Aloy knew Elina meant well.  She also knew the guardswoman was here helping on Erend’s request, to help keep an eye on her, as Elina had put it. She hadn’t tried to be discreet about it, had simply marched up to Aloy and proclaimed that if she was going to wear herself out trying to save people then she was going to have a guard while doing it, just in case the Shadow Carja weren’t as dead as everyone hoped.

Sending Elina had been a stroke of genius on Erend’s part.  She was sharp as a Ravager’s claw and just as fierce.  Elina had also decided at some point that her duty went beyond just making sure a Shadow Carja didn’t try to stab Aloy while she worked, and had been routinely shoving food and water at her as well as making her rest. 

The first time Aloy had tried to refuse, Elina had gotten a glint in her eye that had reminded Aloy of Teersa and she knew well how that woman tended to get her way.  So she’d eaten the food and sat an hour in the shade before getting back to work. 

It took effort to keep her hands from shaking as she lifted the waterskin to her mouth.  Judging from the look on her face, Elina wasn’t fooled.  The water tasted like paradise on her tongue, even warm and tasting like leather.  After a few deep gulps she deliberately lowered the waterskin, if she kept drinking she would just make herself sick. 

When Aloy held it up in silent question, Elina nodded, so Aloy threw the waterskin back.  Elina took several quick sips before closing it up and securing it once more to her belt.  She leaned back against the rock she was perched on and studied Aloy with narrowed eyes. Whatever chastising bit of advice the guardswoman was about to offer was waylaid when Aloy heard someone call her name. 

“Aloy.”

Turning, Aloy smiled when she saw Varl approaching, carefully picking his way through the rubble.  “Varl, how are the others?”

Varl’s smile dimmed and he shook his head.  “Toren and Kiisa died of their wounds yesterday.  Everyone else took relatively minor wounds.”

“I’m sorry,” Aloy said, the words inadequate, but needing to say them anyway.  She didn’t recognize the names of the Braves who died, but having grown up as an outcaste it was only to be expected.  “Is your mother okay with the Carja healers looking after them?” Aloy asked instead.  She remembered Sona’s views on fighting at the Spire, in the Tainted Lands no less.

Varl pressed his lips together before saying, “She is not happy.  None of the Braves are, but they know they have no other choice.”  He looked around at the various guards and citizens attempting to pull their village back together.  “They are non-believers, but they are good people.”

Aloy didn’t notice when Elina had slipped away to give them some semblance of privacy, but she was glad that she had.  She’d already had to mediate a few interactions between the Carja and the Nora Braves, she wasn’t up to doing it again for the time being. 

She remembered what Varl had told her before the battle, about fighting in a tainted land, defending a faithless city.  She considered him for a moment, giving herself a moment to feel the persistent ache in her body and how exhaustion clung to her with a weight heavier than any armor.  “Yes,” she agreed, “They are.”

There was so much more to say but Aloy found she didn’t really have the energy for it.  She’d been digging out survivors since she descended from the Spire.  Erend and Varl had worked with her at first before their duties and family called them away, but Aloy had persisted.  She probably would have fallen over already if it weren’t for Elina.  

“Erend said I would be able to find you out here.  You’ve been working out here since the battle?”  Varl glanced around, taking in the changes wrought the past few days.  A majority of the rubble had been cleared off the main road and stacked in haphazard piles out of the way.  Each house that had been searched and cleared was marked with a bright slash of red paint.  

“Yes.  I wasn’t able to protect them from the machines during the fight.”  Aloy’s gaze swept over the destruction, heart in her throat as she listened to the muffled sound of weeping in the air. “I have a chance to save them now when I failed before.”

Varl pressed his lips together as if holding back words.  “The first day you were pointing people at piles of rock as if you knew they would find someone underneath them.”  He gestured at the nearby wrecked house. “And you saw that little boy even though he was buried. How were you able to do that?” 

Aloy considered him for a moment before reaching up and pulling off her Focus. “This is what I’m using.”

Varl frowned, peering down at the small chip of metal resting in her hand. “That’s not just a decoration?”

“No,” Aloy corrected with a small smile.  “It’s a small machine that scans the surrounding area.  It will show me every living thing in a certain radius from my current position.  It will let me see  through stone or trees, even hills.”

Clearly troubled by her explanation, Varl said, “Is that wise?”  Seeing the look on her face and judging it correctly, Varl shook his head.  “I didn’t mean it like that.  But All-Mother drove away the machines for a reason, and those that worshiped them. Is it safe for you to use that, even if you are the Anointed?”

Aloy blinked up at him in growing frustration and astonishment.  “I thought I told you not to call me that,” she pointed out, hanging onto her temper with an act of will.  

Varl flushed and shifted. “I’m sorry. I’m trying but”—he hesitated before continuing — “All-Mother allowed you into her inner sanctum. You communed with her directly. That is...terrifying and awe-inspiring all at once.  You’ve done so much, it’s hard to think of you as a normal person.”

“I  _ am  _ a normal person, Varl,” Aloy said.  It felt important all of a sudden that he understood what she had come to discover in her journey.  “It wasn’t the machines that led people astray, it was the people who created them that were the problem.”

Varl stared at her, the shock writ large across his face. “People created the machines?”  

Aloy took a breath, trying to decide how to phrase her next words.  She wasn’t going to tell him the whole truth.  That was a hard and terrible thing for someone who had grown up a proper Nora, who believed wholeheartedly in the mercy and love of All-Mother.  Who knew without a doubt that the Sacred Lands were good, and everyone else born outside them were tainted.

She held up the Focus.  “This was created by a person just like you and me a long time ago.  And it was someone just like you and me that created the machines we just fought.  They made a mistake,” Aloy said, with a shake of her head. “A terrible mistake that the whole world ended up paying for.”  She smiled, a wry and bitter twist of her lips.  “All-Mother showed me that the machines were never the true enemy.  It was always the people who had created them.”

Clearly shocked by what she’d said, it was heartening when Varl didn’t immediately dismiss her warning.  Instead he looked thoughtful and Aloy wished she knew what he was thinking. Where Sona was stoic and solid as a mountain, Varl was something a little softer, more open to the world around him and the people in it.  After she’d yelled at them when they tried to claim her as their Anointed, when she had shouted that there was an entire world out there just as deserving as them, Varl had been the one to step forward and ask how he could help.

She wondered what might have been if Vala had survived their ill-fated Proving.  

“You don’t like being called the Anointed, but you are something, Aloy,” he said, after a beat, and smiled. “I knew that the first time you left looking for Meridian.”

Aloy couldn’t fault him for that logic. As much as she claimed to be a normal person,she wasn’t.  She was a clone, a copy of a woman who had given her life to protect the world.  There was something comforting in realizing that part of what made a person who they were seemed to live in the blood and bone, not just the soul.  She didn’t feel as alone knowing she held that connection with another person.

“Can I try it on?”

Aloy stared, stunned into silence by Varl’s tentative request.  “You want to try on the Focus?”  She was tired, but she didn’t think she’d reached the point of hearing things.  “Are you sure?”

Clearly discomfited by her surprise, Varl hesitated before giving a sharp nod. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Flicking the Focus between her fingers for a moment, Aloy made a decision and held it out.  “If you’re sure, yes, you can try it on.”  Doubt welled up inside her and she tried to keep it from showing on her face.  She felt inordinately possessive of it. It wasn’t the Focus she’d grown up with, but it was just as much hers, even if Sylens had been the one to give it to her.  

Varl eyed it for a moment, girding himself to reach for it.  Aloy couldn’t imagine the direction his thoughts had taken, no doubt torn between Aloy’s reassurance and what he had been raised to believe at Sona’s knee. It seemed to be a surprise to them both when he reached out and picked it up off her palm.  

Aloy motioned to where she had worn hers.  “It goes just above your ear, here.  That way it can show you what it sees.”  She chose not to mention that it could also serve as a communication device.  It could lead to questions she wasn’t ready to answer.

Moving carefully, as if the Focus would bite him if he jostled it, Varl pressed the Focus in place against his skin.  There was a small chirp as it activated —

Varl shouted in surprise and scrambled backwards in an instinctive attempt to get away from the search grid that began building before his eyes, faint purple lines criss-crossing as the Focus scanned the surrounding area.  Aloy laughed out loud as Varl got back up, brushing the dirt and ash from his armor.  Though clearly unsettled by the experience, he calmed when he realized Aloy wasn’t alarmed.

“Aloy...what is this?”  His gaze flicked back and forth, head swinging around as he stared in wonder through the ‘eyes’ of the Focus.  “Everything is bright and strange and I think….”  Varl’s eyes widened. “Those aren’t spirits. Those are people, on the other side of the wall?”

“Just like I said.”  Aloy leaned back against a solid chunk of stone.  Exhaustion was creeping up on her now that she wasn’t in the midst of all the clean up. Her various aches and pains began to make themselves known as well.  It had been a hard fight on the ridge even before it had collapsed on top of her. If she hadn’t been wearing her shielded armor she would have been crushed.  “Just tap it again to turn it off.”

Varl was still looking around, eyes wide. “How did you get used to this?”

Aloy shrugged, scooting a little to the side when something kept jabbing into her shoulder blade when she leaned back.  “I’ve had a Focus since I was a young girl,” she admitted.  “When I put it on it showed me a whole new world, one I refused to let Rost take away.”

“Weren’t you afraid of it?” Varl reached up but did not touch the Focus, leaving it active.  

Aloy laughed.  “In the beginning I almost threw it across the cavern.”  So much had happened because she had been more curious than frightened. “But I ended up taking it with me and it proved to be something new and wondrous. I could see through rocks and trees, and even small hills to the creatures beyond, and all I had to do was look at a machine to know exactly where I needed to strike it.”

Seeing the expression on Varl’s face, Aloy shrugged.  “If I had grown up as a member of the tribe I might never have put it on. In fact I might never have ended up in that Old World ruin in the first place.  But I was an outcast and despite Rost’s best efforts, much of what you were taught while growing up doesn’t make much sense to me.”

Aloy tracked the change in Varl’s expression as he remembered the kind of upbringing she’d endured.  Cast out as an infant, Aloy had been raised by Rost on the outskirts of Nora society, forbidden to speak with any member of the tribe — until the day of the Proving. 

There was a moment where Varl clearly struggled with the urge to apologize, and Aloy was tempted to let him.  She didn’t blame him for the way the village had treated her—he was a product of his upbringing the same way she was, but it satisfied something in her to know that at least one person acknowledged she had been treated poorly for something very much out of her control.

Having thought better of trying to apologize Varl pulled the Focus off and held it carefully between his fingers.  “Everything I know and was taught says this is wrong.”  He brushed his thumb over the smooth metal before offering it back to her with a small smile.  “But you saved us with it. How can saving people be wrong?” 

Taking the Focus back Aloy put it back just over her ear, fingers lingering on the metal that was still warm from Varl’s touch.  “The basis for deciding what’s wrong should be someone’s actions, not the tools they use.  The Shadow Carja used the machines to attack us, and I used them to defend you and everyone else.”  

“Food for thought,” Varl admitted.

The quiet stretched between them, heavy with everything Aloy had admitted. Filled with hard truths that would turn Varl’s world on its head if he chose to believe her.  

Just as aware of what filled the growing silence between them, Varl cleared his throat. “I did come find you with a purpose in mind.  War Chief Sona is determined to return to the Sacred Lands.  We’ll be leaving at first light tomorrow.”  He gestured at the surrounding wreckage. “I know there is still much to be done here, but we have to take care of our home as well. With so few Braves left we can’t afford to stay any longer.”

Aloy nodded. “I understand. I’m thankful you and the rest of the Braves were willing to join the fight. I know your presence made a difference.”

“I’m not too sure about that,” Varl said.  “I think you would have found a way even if we hadn’t followed you.”  He studied her for a moment. Aloy wasn’t sure what he saw, but he sighed and his shoulders slumped as if carrying a heavy burden. “You aren’t coming back, are you?”

“Not right away,” Aloy said, neatly sidestepping the question he was really asking. “There’s something I need to do once I’m done here.”  With GAIA’s information stored in her Focus she would be able to track down Elisabet’s final resting place. With no true mother, Elisabet was the closest thing Aloy had.  She wanted to pay her respects and take this one thing for herself. “I don’t know how long it will take, but once I’m done, I’ll come back.”

“But not to stay,” Varl said. It wasn’t a question. 

Aloy bit back her first retort— _ Why should I? _ —instead choosing her response carefully.  “I’m not staying Varl, not when there is so much of the world out there that I still haven’t seen.  I have so many questions and I’m never going to find them if I stay in the Sacred Lands.”  

She sighed.  “I would be lying if I said that was the only reason.  I don’t think of the Sacred Lands the same way you do, Varl.  Rost was my home.” Aloy swallowed hard around the sudden swell of grief.  “But he’s dead, and all that’s left are the people who once shunned me for the crime of being born, and who now revere me.”

She shook her head with a laugh that felt dragged out of her, sharp and painful.  “For years they ignored me, only acknowledging me to throw insults and rocks if they could find them.  And now they think they can call me their ‘Anointed’ as if I belong to them? They don’t even revere me for saving them from the Shadow Carja. They don’t care that in spite of everything they’d done to me I came back and saved them.  No. They call me ‘Anointed’ because I opened a door.”

“Aloy.”  

She started when Varl knelt in front of her, eyes wide and dark, filled with regret and sympathy. He slowly reached out as if not sure of his welcome.  When she didn’t stop him he curled his hand around the back of her neck.  His hand was warm, the faint edge of the calluses on his fingers rough. “I cannot apologize for what the tribe has done to you.  They allowed their fear to guide them and you suffered for it.”  He gently squeezed the back of her neck. 

“All I ask is that you not give up on us.  We don’t deserve you, and I won’t ask you to stay, but I think as long as you keep coming back, we can change for the better.” 

It was tempting to say no outright, to turn her back on the Nora and the cruel way they had treated her—but staring into Varl’s dark eyes, she couldn’t.  When she had told the Nora about the world beyond the Embrace and how everyone in it was in danger, it had been Varl who had stepped up and asked how they could help.  Then there was Teersa, who had supported her from the beginning, and had given her to Rost to be raised with love;  and Vala, and even Bast, who had fought beside her and died in the first battle of a war only Aloy sensed lurking on the horizon. 

“I won’t promise to stay,” Aloy said at last.  

She mimicked Varl’s gesture, curling her hand around the back of his neck, and leaned her forehead against his.  They breathed together, a rare moment of quiet in a life that had been changed irrevocably since the day of the Proving. The murmur of voices and the rumble of shifting debris fading around them.  

“But I promise I will come back.”

After all, she needed to go back into the Mountain again in order to have a chance of bringing GAIA back.  But it would serve her well to remember that there were those amongst the Nora that she cared for, and had chosen to stand beside her.  

Varl gave her neck another gentle squeeze then stepped back.  Aloy got to her feet as he did, feeling unsettled and raw, and ready for the distraction of hard labor.  

“Take care, Aloy.  I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Varl said, clearing this throat.  “I’ll keep an eye out for your return.”  He hesitated before continuing, “Keep in mind that if you don’t come back, I’ll never be able to see the inside of the mountain.”

Eyebrows flicking up in surprise, Aloy laughed.  “Well in that case, I suppose I have to come back.”

They parted with one last arm clasp and then Varl wove his way back towards the Spire, where the Nora had chosen to camp.  Aloy watched him go until she heard a scuff of boot on stone behind her.  “Isn’t it rude to eavesdrop?” Aloy asked. “Or is it just savages who aren’t allowed?”

Elina hopped down from the chunk of stone she’d climbed over.  “Why am I not surprised you would take a conversation with an attractive man and make it depressing?  Him asking you to visit nearly had me in tears.”  She snorted. “But at least you know how to play hard to get.”

Aloy stared at the guardswoman, baffled at her insinuation and at the hot flush climbing up her throat and cheeks.  “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it’s not,” Elina said agreeably, and Aloy honestly couldn’t tell if Elina was just humoring her.  

Deciding this strange conversation needed to end yesterday, Aloy said, “I think I’ve rested enough.  Which section are we on now?”  Aloy tapped her Focus and the world once again filled with light and ghostly figures in the distance. 

“Over here.  It was a large house but no one has come back…”  Elina started walking and Aloy trailed after her, listening with half an ear.  

Varl’s interest in the Focus had given her the beginnings of an idea for the future.  When she’d first offered to let him see inside the mountain, he’d turned her down, but he’d also just indicated that he might take her up on it one day.  She knew he was doing it in a bid to bring her back to the Sacred Lands, but he was also giving her a chance to change his mind.  

She would find Elisabet and pay her respects, and when she was done...

When she was done, she would see if Varl was willing to fight the coming war beside her.     


End file.
